Friday, October 31, 2008

Stinging satires II

Year 950,586,431,888,522

Long ago, a prophet called Burmakin was lying in his death bed. He told his grandson these final words for a brave new world in the future.

“Everything in the universe will be simplified. Then nothing will become simple”

After Burmakin’s demise, children all over the world chanted this very short sentence as his foretelling for the future world.

“Trinity knows, and does everything so he will rule the world. The universal monarch will rise up, and either he knows or does nothing.”

Soon after, the sun of our solar system was deviated from its path. After eight minutes, when the gravity effect of the sun on the Earth was completely terminated, the Earth found herself travelling with a very, very rapid spinning speed in the space. The scientists at the 21st century thought that people would freeze to death after the first 8 minutes. However, unexpected things happen; mankind was saved by numerous eruptions of volcanoes which took place in a series to warm up the air. Of course, millions of lives were washed out by the gushing streams of lava. However, people were fortunate enough to capitalize the time of this lava age. They could build up the heat-producing factories to save the next generations of the evolving ice ages.

After countless generations, the flying earth found her place orbiting a giant black hole surrounded by a super cluster of stars. The people called this star group “Coma” because people of all races got to forget all the inheritances of their civilizations by a very mysterious influence from the astrologic power of this giant star group. The time loops were also warping back into the past rather than going towards the future, along which, the rational thinking of mankind was also reversed. So the Burmese military junta, the low in the long, long past, then became the most noble and the royally charismatic in the eyes of these modern people. Then, all people around the world, as well as land, sea and sky animals, even including bacteria, viruses and parasites, in their mutual consent, voted the Burmese junta as the absolute ruler of the world.

However, the Burmese military junta itself was traveling back in the time loops. In a similar fashion with the people, all their rational thinking is also upside down. Instead of enjoying their supreme rule upon the whole world, they were desperately finding Trinity of everything and nothing day and night to prove Burmakin’s prophecy to be true. For an exact match of his name as Trinity, He the One, should not be a normal human; rather an integration of three supreme entities. For not violating the principle of Burmakin’s prophecy, this absolute ruler of the universe was obliged to know and do everything, and nothing, too

No sooner did they find the Trinity, a bloodless coup was created. The Burmese junta coronated Him with all his accrued sublime power. The Burmese junta is contented itself as a servant, and also played the role of an irredeemable sycophant as well to serve the unrivaled power of this greatest monarch for his whole life. In the newspapers, the junta’s official position was described as the prime minster. However, in his Holy Royal Highness’ palace, the junta was just a puppy to the Supreme Him. Nonetheless, in his military headquarters, the junta was looking so graceful with hundreds of badges and bars blessed by the his Supreme Highness, manning his regular operations of spying, interrogating and eliminating every possible enemy that will disturb the security and stability of our holy planet that is now incredibly enlightened by his Royal Highness.

Of course, the Supreme Him was not a jobless vagabond on the streets of New York, Geneva and Rangoon before. Great thanks to Burmese U Thant and Leydon S Johnson, he has held a very official, critically important and monopolized job throughout the world history. Our Planet Earth now has the new name, called “The Planet Humanity” that is for honoring the past job of this monarch. All characters of the name of the monarch are decreed to be written in upper case. No linguist is capable of pronouncing his name, showing his untrammeled grandiosity different from the earthy human dictators in the past (future).

The intimidating name of his Royal Highness, the greatest, is PDNU_FECINU_OHW. People sometimes like to call him just Trinity as his name has three components. But they dare not call it, for not calling the monarch by its real name is worth a death penalty. The Trinity firmly believes that the name, Trinity, is just a generic and he doesn’t like to be ranked the same as the generic gods of Buddhism, Hinduism and Christianity. He holds these truths to be self-evident that not a soul on earth is able to see a testimony of how a single god of any religion can have saved the world. He claimed himself as the only and real Savior of mankind as practically, he himself , the only is able to show all the magic of his Savior’s ability before the naked eyes of the people.

Please use a mirror to be able to pronounce this great universal monarch’s name. But nobody in this future is able to pronounce it because when people see the transposed characters in a mirror, their newly devolutionary brains always transpose it back to the original position. The optic nerve tracts of new human brains no longer decussate in crisscross patterns to form optic chiasma but rather with running in a parallel fashion. The monarch, endorsed by the Burmese junta affirms the people that the mankind of his brave new age will no longer be in illusion about their perception as their rewired eyes are able to see the reality as the world itself is. The whole population of the world is convinced daily by the world leading newspapers like The Wall Street, The New York Times and The Washington post that were now under the complete control of the Burmese junta, the golden message for all humankind from his Royal Highness who claims that man has accomplished all his complicated tasks of civilizations and their history, and now human kind becomes completely rational, and absolute simple.

Let’s call this tedious monarch as short as PFO for his acronym. As he is travelling back very fast in the time loop, there is a chance that we could probably were charged a death penalty for not calling his actual name if he has finally reached our current time of 21st century. Don’t worry about it; I will march in front to receive his death penalty. As PFO is able to rise in the future because of Burmakin’s deathbed prophecy, if he were to come at present and to kill Burmakin for violating his supreme rule, he was never be able to rise up in the future as Burmakin has not been in the deathbed and has not made this prophecy yet at current time. He was not able to rise up in the future means he couldn't come to our present for carrying out his royal order for executing Burmakin.

Well, we are now in the great palace of His majesty, PFO.

“Yes, Nga SPDC, what is it now? You have promised me many actions for the past fifty years. Are you wasting my time with another progress report of setting up a new propaganda for these dumb people?”

“Please your Royal Highness, this lowly, worthless creature should die ahead. I am trying to propagandize the meaning of Trinity to your boar citizens. I am still confused about how nothing and everything is related to Trinity of your majesty”

“As long as you live, you should remember everything what I once told you before. You are the dullest Burmese on earth; how you had been bred up in your Burmese culture? Have you never seen before in your Burmese culture, the monks are reciting and so bright and tame people are able to repeat everything like the parrots? Savage, cave man, uncastrated!”

“I should really die, Venerable Sir. Please kindly reward me again your great message about the meaning of Trinity to your very unintelligent creature.”

His Royal Highness, PFO, frowns for a moment. Then he relaxed his lofty eye brows.

“OK, this is the last time I will recite the meaning of everything and nothing related to Trinity, no more in future, you swine!”

His Royal Highness spews the followings as if horses are galloping very fast on the main road, and SPDC, the sycophant, followed in a hurry what the Great He deciphered the code of Trinity.

“The meaning of Trinity for everything and nothing comes just in three Universal Truths. Ganahi, you Burmese SPDC! (Ganahi = a Pali word, remember)

Universal Truth Number One (in Burma): OHW knows everything but does nothing
Universal Truth Number Two (in Burma): PDNU knows nothing and does nothing
Universal Truth Number Three (in Burma): FECINU knows nothing but does everything

That is called Trinity for nothing and everything. Ganahi again, you SPDC, as numb as the donkey”

“So funny, sorry sir, many inexpressible thanks for your generic existence for Burmese, Sir”, SPDC immediately saved his laugh.

His Royal Highness raised his eyebrows again. He was smart enough to know that his puppy was laughing at him in secrecy.

“My servant, I think for such kind of forgetfulness of your human weakness, I Trinity suggest we should now practice the continuous medical education of Burmese Ministry of Health. This means I as the supreme dictator of the universe, will no longer let you chief executive officer to be able to stay in peace. In the future and throughout the past, I will reexamine you again and again whether or not you still remember the concepts I have taught to you.”

“Your command is my wish, sorry sir, my wish is your command, sorrier sir, and your wish is my command”. In his bad fear, SPDC was stammering. Probably it was called wipet in Buddha’s Dharma (reflexivity of Karma) as he had worn out his Burmese medical doctors in the past by keeping them always busy with deliberately created meaningless and endless exams, intending them not to raise these intellectual heads up against his avaricious military dictatorship.

“Let’s start the exam No. 1 now. You are now already too old to remember the meaning of words what I have taught you before”. His Royal Highness was so swift in his mind to start testing the memory strength of his toady, SPDC.

The exam started on the spot in oral form. For comforting the fear of his parasite, PFO is now seemingly on softer terms. Actually he distrusts this sycophant and is conspiring to get a digital record for the proof of this parasite‘s inability so that he could dismiss him later with evidence. Of course, his menial candidate, who in his whole life is ill-bred, stressed, intimidated, and burdened so that he could grapple with such subtle intellectual exam much better if he is oppressed under harsh conditions and condescending treatments. To treat him well is also a legerdemain strategy to make him face unusual conditions so that he was more prone to make the mistakes in answering his tricky questions.

“ My anayvatika (valuable disciple), what is the single, the only adorable, the mono absolute slogan of our Planet Humanity?”

“Great Sir, the single, the only adorable, no choice else, mono absolute slogan in the past, for the present and the forever future of our Planet Humanity, is Humanity is the body. Yes, your majesty, the body is the end of our humanity that is too simple to be able to be noticed by any gaudy sage of our foolish predecessors in all those useless civilization ages in the past. You, your majesty pioneered this simple concept out the first and foremost. You are so magnanimous to grant all your servants with this nirvana vehicle that led mankind to be reborn as the full-fledged rational and the irreproachably enlightened in your heavenly kingdom”

“Nonetheless, the end is not enough. After knowing the end for sure, you need to find out sinless, morally flawless, and non-culpable means to achieve this impeccably enlightened state. My dear follower, let’s me ask you more about your understanding of my approaches in bringing mankind to this Utopia kingdom of Ends”, PFO is eager to continue his questions, envisioning that tomorrow he is signing a demotion order for this unqualified creature who will be wrenched off by his uncatchable philosophical questions that are to be pursued now.

“Your wish is my command, Sir”. SPDC still needs a higher score to pass the intellectual test. In reality, he will not be a right person to catch up with such intellectual affairs of his smart master. However, the reverse time loops and the coma star effects also delude your majesty into asking the questions that the good common sense of his lowly servant is able to cope with.

“My lovely tutee, let’s we start the question for the means. What is the meaning of the bottom-up approach?”

“ Highly Sir, the bottom-up approach of your erudite theology means Bottom are always bottom and Up are always up “.

This time, your majesty is satisfied at the sharp snap and lucidly clear thought of the junta. This is the greatest paradigm that sets him up his unflappable confidence to do all his consecrated job for humanity in the past.

“You are absolutely right, to recapitulate in a single sentence, I will say bottom are assumed as never will have the ability to be up”.

“So bright sir, you can simplify these confusing two sentences into such a simple easy one”, the bootlicker is eagerly hoping that the questions will be ended soon.

“And what is the meaning of the human right approaches for the rightless people?”

“Unrivalled sir, human right approaches mean humans should never be left. So you should never think about leaving them once you approach them.”

“OK, but you have not answered yet about the rightless people”

“Why not, Sir. The rightless people simply mean these people can never be right, so you always need a correction for the people for becoming right. Me remember Sir, what you have instructed us your insight. As the first principle never to leave, is always satisfied by the second principle of the rightless people that says the human are never right. The prima facie is people are never right or will never be right. So you are never expected to leave. A circular reference of your Royal Highness’ humanity work.”

The Burmese junta seems to be becoming more and more brilliant as he treads along these questions. As time loops are warping backwards, the more difficult the question is, the better the junta is able to answer. PFO doesn’t notice it. Nonetheless, he upstarts noticing that the junta has known all the nuances of his ideas behind his brilliant strategies. If it is so, he is very unsafe as this servant is not that idiotic as he has underestimated. If the next question doesn’t work, probably he needs to take time to think another alternative clever strategy for shredding this coward.

“OK the last question to re-stew my great actions, what is the meaning of cultural relativism?”

“Lovely Sir, cultural relativism means in your (organizational) culture, you only deal, treat, recruit and promote the people who are related to you or who are your relatives. That it is, Sir. Now I win the exam with 100% score”.

The junta is rejoicing and dances with great joy as if a drunken female peacock spreads out her tail in front of his majesty's sovereign throne. His majesty is stoop-shouldered, feeling a great ache of humiliation imposed by his own servant that he looked down as too delinquent to catch up with his smart ideas of manipulating the universe.

“The post-colonial human rights era should be looked at as both an end and a means. The end is equal human dignity for all human beings, but the means is that of creating a space for human dignity to be affirmed. And it must be affirmed by the individual person everywhere. This is the process by which the universality of human rights is being realized in practice, out of the vision and project started by the UN in the 1940s”

-Abullah An-Na’im

(In the next episode, a guy called Bamakin *a grand, grand, grand… ∞ son of Burmakin* and many of Bamakin’s colleagues are to be executed in the Black hole for their uprising against his majesty’s the holy, absolute slogan- Humanity is the body. Some of Bamakin’s colleagues found guilty for their partake of this irrational rebel and who will be executed together are Burmese Diamond Bull, May Myanmar, Karaweik Payanug, Akyang Alynnnpar and etc, etc  )


Karaweik ကရဝိတ္ 妙声鸟 Alvin (Sumedha) said...

The Great Enlightened One taught us that killing of bulls and birds for sacrificial purposes will not lead one to nibbana (or nirvana).

Where there is anatta, there is no beef or roast chicks... only biochemical pathways to carry on the cycle of samsara.

Charity Charlie said...

Very funny. I appreciate bloger **** arrogant asses in Burma.

Can I add one point. Cultural relativism- feign as masters of relating cultures. Never know or understand or even not any try to understand any local culture. JUST relate, NEVER know, understand, realize,cooperate, trust or delegate. Not only in Burma. Everywhere else.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Charlie. What is not necessary from them is to relate, compare or contrast the cultures. What is really necessary from them is to understand, and to respect the dignity of every individual person as Abdul mentioned.

Ironically saying, it will not be necessary to relate the culture of a whore born in Switzerland to a whore born in Dala of Burma. Or celebration of ostentatious parties for relationship-building between executives coming from Western countries and local staff, or holding dinner and exchanging vision for trust-building with the State directors of Burmese Ministry of Health. What is deadly necessary in the operations of these so-called savior IGOs is to understand the culture of Burmese whores. Unless they understand "the wisdom" of whores, pimp house brokers, the police,the transporters and their clients in their nature of Burmese, all that big money granted by magnificent donors for hope of helping the poor are becoming exactly just for showing "relation" for their humanity relativism and nothing else.


MG (Teacher)

Charity Charlie said...

hi MG (Teacher),

I have a question. How should men define sins. When u militate against gods,or when u rob, or steal or lie?

u get a salary for doing what is right for the people, sit on a position to manage the resources. But you either do nothing or overhaul the precious and rare resources in a useless way. Which one is a bigger sin doer, a robber or those sloppy fattened development officers in Burma and everywhere in the world.

Anonymous said...

The doctors in Burma are nothing more than waiting for the bones. The junta throws away a few pieces of bones.they've to jostle one another very hard to get a shred of bone. That is the life, survival of a medical doctor in Burma.